Cal Lane | Beautiful Works of Art

My uncle in Germany was nice enough to send this beautiful display of art.  The Canadian artists name is Cal Lane.  I am always floored when I see how the light that lives inside of us can express itself through exquisite beauty such as this.

 

 

Absolutely fantastic!

Stay Connected With Spirit

I was just reminded today to stop dwelling on my emotional baggage through one quote that says it all:

"Always see the good in your fellow human beings, put the negative aspects of the past behind you, live completely in the present, and make the best you possibly can out of it.  Expect the best from the future and remain in constant contact with cosmic consciousness---then nothing will stand in the way of a meaningful and happy life."  Gertrud Hirschi---Mudras:  Yoga in Your hands

New Jersey Italian President

Have you laughed today???  I am originally from Red Bank, NJ so I find this particularly funny. 

 

 

Laughing is good for the heart.  So laugh a lot.

Open Your Heart...Yoga Pose

Just a simple little yoga pose I like to do to remind myself not to slouch, stand tall and confident and keep myheart open.  For then, all good things will come...

 

 

All you need is a strap.  For more yoga poses go to www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com

 

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Express Yourself | Fine Tuning the Throat Chakra...Vissudha

        

Isn't is fabulous when we feel like everything that comes out of our mouth feels perfect, not too harsh, not too soft, not too much, not too little?  It doesn't necessarily have to be the words you speak.  A balanced fifth chakra comes in the form of creative self-expression.  So when you paint, doesn't it feel good when you paint something that feels like you painted exactly what you wanted to express, with just the right colors, angles and texture?  Or maybe you like to dance.  How does it feel when your body moves with no resistance?  Or not?  Maybe your like music or sculpting.  It doesn't really matter.  It comes in more forms than I could possibly mention.  What does matter is what your truth.  How effectively and comfortably can you express your truth?      

Some clues that you may be off balance:       

 

I'm right! I'm right! I'm right!

 

 

 

 

How Well do you communicate your truth?  Let us know at

http://www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com/vissudha-the-fifth-chakra/

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Express Yourself | Fine Tuning the Throat Chakra...Vissudha

        

Isn't is fabulous when we feel like everything that comes out of our mouth feels perfect, not too harsh, not too soft, not too much, not too little?  It doesn't necessarily have to be the words you speak.  A balanced fifth chakra comes in the form of creative self-expression.  So when you paint, doesn't it feel good when you paint something that feels like you painted exactly what you wanted to express, with just the right colors, angles and texture?  Or maybe you like to dance.  How does it feel when your body moves with no resistance?  Or not?  Maybe your like music or sculpting.  It doesn't really matter.  It comes in more forms than I could possibly mention.  What does matter is what your truth.  How effectively and comfortably can you express your truth?      

Some clues that you may be off balance:       

  

 

 

 

 

 

I'm right! I'm right! I'm right!

 

   

 Anxiety attacks or feeling out of control  

  Diarrhea of the mouth (no real content or personal feelings)   

  Look for any opportunity to be right    

     

   

      

 Extremely shy or afraid to speak up    

 

What? I didn't say anything...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Attached to what others think      

 

 

Stage-fright      

Deceiving others by stretching the truth for some ulterior motive         

     

      

  

  

Opening the Fifth Chakra

        

David Pond refers to opening of the Fifth Chakra as the      

 

"Lens of Discovery"     

 

Allowing you to stay open to the process of seeing all truth as relative to what is currently known and, as a result, you constantly stay open to learning more.  This is what kids do.  Children get it.  We seem to lose this ability as we become adults, so it's a really nice gift to tap into.        

But here's the good thing, also a quote from David Pond, "It is not uncommon that opening to this level of consciousness limits your social world,  many people won't be comfortable with your insights, and you won't be comfortable in social situations where trivial thought dominates.  As with each of the upper chakras, your desire to spend time alone increases as your tolerance for superficial activities decreases."       

         

So how do we balance the Fifth (Throat) Chakra?

  

Be Quiet.  Listen. Listen to the sound of your breath, your heart beating.       

Meditate.  Deepen your breath.  Slow it down.       

Do your best to eliminate toxic noise such as media or toxic people.       

Engage in 'Active Listening'.  Allow someone else to speak without interrupting.  When they are done speaking, take a breath and comment to let the other person know they were heard.  You can say something like, "I hear what you're saying." Or ask questions without judgements or suggestions.       

If you are in a group environment and are unable to find the right words at the right time, use a Talking Stick.        

        

How well do you communicate your truth? 

         

        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chakras | The Vortexes of Life

I love learning about the Chakras.  For me, reading Anodea Judith's books, "The Wheels of Life", and "Eastern Body Western Mind, Psychology of the Chakra System as a Path to the Self" has really opened my eyes.  The latter particularly focuses on the effects old wounds have on the Chakras and how they become imbalanced.  Finally, a book I can understand, one that speaks directly to me!  Ever read one of those books?  You feel like the author is speaking directly to you.  I love that.  If you've never seen an illustration of the Chakras, take a look at the video below.

I am currently blogging about the chakras and how to balance them.  Of course, it would take more than reading one or two blog posts to understand the entire Chakra System and how old wounds really affect your state of balance, but you'll at least get the gist.  Take a look:

http://www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com/category/yoga/chakras/

 

 

Let Santa Send A Message To Your Children

Want to get this kids really excited about Christmas?  My sister sent me a really cute site that allows you to createa custom message, with pictures and all, a beautiful message from Santa, via video, to your children and/or other family and friends.  Click here:  http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/home

My son is 7 years old and got so excited when he saw this:

http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/0g_w7HxqO20__rnC7bOf1Q

 

Take a look.  Very cute.  Very heartwarming.  He was out of his mind happy that Santa thought to send him a message before Christmas.  Cheers!

My Favorite Bob Harper on Nutrition and Farm Sanctuary

Biggest Loser - one of my favorite shows has recruited Bob Harper, one of my favorite coaches, as the spokesperson for The Farm Sanctuary.  It is true, once we wake up to what we are eating, it is very difficult to go back and eat what doesn't serve our bodies, humanity, the earth.  This is a great conversation.  Again, I mention baby steps as the way to go if you have been eating meat your whole life.  The Kind Diet, Skinny Bitch, Skinny Bastard, The China Sudy...all really informative.

 

 

And, of course, my emotional healing through yoga blog to assist you in loving yourself!

www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com

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The Kind Diet, by Alicia Sylverstone, is a book to love.  I speak from first hand experience.  Coming from a red wine drinking, red meat eating, processed food eating girl, I found this book so supportive of not only making physical changes, but also emotional changes.  This is a happy book with real facts, real food and encouragement to love yourself.  You can also sign up on Alicia's website www.thekindlife.com and get all kinds of great tips and support.  It's all very useful even for beginners and people who want to take baby steps to living a more healthful life.

 

By the way, I found this video on a youtube channel called "Books That Matter".  Great channel.  Good listening.  Good reading.

www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com.

Empathy VS. Sympathy

Love Sean Corn.  This is a great description of the Power of Empathy VS. Sympathy.

 

 

Empathy comes from that wonderful place of knowing because we have experienced on a very deep level what someone else is experiencing.

Have You Laughed Today?

BBC Funny Animals always makes me laugh!  Take a moment to lift your spirits....

 

 

 

 

 

Have You Luaghed Today?

BBC Funny Animals always make me laugh!

 

 

Hilarious...

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“Humility and gratitude go hand in hand.  The feeling of gratitude is an interaction between the mind and the body.  Both will benefit from it.  Awareness increases so that we become grateful for everything we are given.  We have to learn, literally learn, to be grateful for what we receive day by day, simply to balance that criticism that, day by day, we voice because of powerful emotions.”  Swami Sivananda Radha   

 

 

 

Be Kind By Being Silent

  

Well, maybe not the entire time.  I’m not talking about taking a vow of silence on Thanksgiving , although that may not be a bad idea for some of us, particularly for some relatives. (haha)  I am talking more about reflecting on the life for which you have to be thankful and appreciative.  When your mind is busy telling you all kinds of things, it is difficult to appreciate how beautiful everything really is.   How can you be listening when you are talking?  How can you hear what others are saying?  Are you sitting at the table waiting for your sister to finish her sentence so you can jump right in there without even hearing what she has to say?  Do you drink merrily until you don’t know what your saying?  Some useful things I’ve learned over the years:   

1.  When someone else is talking, wait until they finish, take a full breath, and then speak.   

2.  Listen to the conversation at and around the dinner table.  You might learn something new.   

3.  Remember, everyone is important, even the relatives you don’t care to be around.  Everyone has value.    

4.  Offer to help whether is setting the table or cleaning up or both.   

5.  Try not to poison your body with too much food.  Leftovers are great.   

6.  Try not to drink too heavily.  It’s just ugly and it poisons you body and your mind.   

7.  Be mindful.  Listen.  Appreciate.   

     

Let People Know Who You Are

  

Sorry.  Does that sound confusing?  Here I am telling you to observe silence, but also speak up. Hmmm…  Here’s the deal.  Practice the above and your friends and relatives just might see a side of you they normally wouldn’t see if you were talking too much.  (I speak from experience., haha.)  It would be nice, when you do choose to speak up, that you speak kind words.  After you have intently listened to another that you could actually engage in a meaningful conversation, one in which gives value and meaning to the person with whom you are speaking.  By being mindful of what goes in your mouth and what comes out, you open yourself up to new possibilities.  Maybe the people that actually annoyed you seem less annoying with your new compassionate eyes and ears.  Maybe by being mindful, your less annoying to those around you.  If you are saying to yourself, “Well, Donna, you don’t know my family”, let me say this, we are all the same, yet we are all different.  We all struggle with insecurity, self-worth issues and basic problems in life.  It’s all relative.  We’re all a pain in the ass and we’re all really wonderful.  We are all important.   

     

So take fifteen minutes and meditate in awe and appreciation for all the things that matter like:

  

 How well your body just keeps on ticking   

How your body just knows to keep breathing even when you are sleeping, when you are unconscious   

How the universe is holding you up right under feet as soon as you get up in the morning   

How wonderful it is that your corky relatives and friends want to share Thanksgiving dinner with you   

How wonderful it feels to be loved   

How wonderful it feels to give love   

How wonderful it feel to just give   

How wonderful it feels to receive with a deep sense of appreciation   

How wonderful it is when someone thinks to appreciate you and then lets you know   

How fabulous the heart really is!  We love.  It opens.  We expand in ways we never thought possible.   

     

You can think of lot’s of wonderful ways to appreciate and be thankful, right?  Use the comment box below and let us know what you appreciate this Thanksgiving.  What are you grateful for this year?   

     

 

   Baskingin the morning sun with my beautiful son Liam.  He's so cool!

What Do You Say To Your Ego When It Tries To Mess With You?

Just a short note about what the ego does when it's trying to pull you back in and how I respond... 

 

Isn't it something how we can practice our yoga and beebop along and think everything is getting better and I'm feelin pretty good and I'm really practicing my stuff...and then all of a sudden, I look in some mirror and see something that looks so ugly to me?  That's what happened yesterday.  So do I stop looking in the mirror?  I don't think so.  Next time, I think I'll look back and say to the mirror (the 'not my real voice' ego), "I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but I love this girl!  She's beautiful."

For more on how to handle your ego...www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com

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The Path of Unconditional Happiness
by Michael A. Singer

The highest spiritual path is life itself. If you know how to live daily life, it all becomes a liberating experience. But first you have to approach life properly, or it can be very confusing. To begin with, you have to realize that you really only have one choice in this life, and it's not about your career, whom you want to marry, or whether you want to seek God. People tend to burden themselves with so many choices. But, in the end, you can throw it all away and just make one basic, underlying decision: Do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy? It's really that simple. Once you make that choice, your path through life becomes totally clear.

Most people don't dare give themselves that choice because they think it's not under their control. Someone might say, "Well, of course I want to be happy, but my wife left me." In other words, they want to be happy, but not if their wife leaves them. But that wasn't the question. The question was, very simply, "Do you want to be happy or not?" If you keep it that simple, you will see that it really is under your control. It's just that you have a deep-seated set of preferences that gets in the way.

Let's say you've been lost and without food for days, and you finally find your way to a house. You can hardly make it to the doorstep, but you manage to pull yourself up and knock on the door. Somebody opens the door, looks at you and says, "Oh my God! You poor thing! Do you want something to eat? What would you like?" Now the truth is, you really don't care what they give you. You don't even want to think about it. You just utter the word "food." And because you really mean it when you say you need food, it no longer has anything to do with your mental preferences. The same goes for the question about happiness. The question is simply "Do you want to be happy?" If the answer is really yes, then say it without qualifying it. After all, what the question really means is "Do you want to be happy from this point forward for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens?"

Now, if you say yes, it might happen that your wife leaves you, or your husband dies, or the stock marker crashes, or your car breaks down on an open highway at night. Those things might happen between now and the end of your life. But if you want to walk the highest spiritual path, then when you answer yes to that simple question, you must really mean it. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It's not a question of whether your happiness is under your control. Of course it's under your control. It's just that you don't really mean it when you say you're willing to stay happy. You want to qualify it. You want to say that as long as this doesn't happen, or as long as that does happen, then you're willing to be happy. That's why it seems like it is out of your control. Any condition you create will limit your happiness. You simply aren't going to be able to control things and keep them the way you want them.

You have to give an unconditional answer. If you decide that you're going to be happy from now on for the rest of your life, you will not only be happy, you will become enlightened. Unconditional happiness is the highest technique there is. You don't have to learn Sanskrit or read any scriptures. You don't have to renounce the world. You just have to really mean it when you say that you choose to be happy. And you have to mean it regardless of what happens. This is truly a spiritual path, and it is as direct and sure a path to Awakening as could possibly exist.

Once you decide you want to be unconditionally happy, something inevitably will happen that challenges you. This test of your commitment is exactly what stimulates spiritual growth. In fact, it is the unconditional aspect of your commitment that makes this the highest path. It's so simple. You just have to decide whether or not you will break your vow. When everything is going well, it's easy to be happy. But the moment something difficult happens, it's not so easy. You tend to find yourself saying, "But I didn't know this was going to happen. I didn't think I'd miss my flight. I didn't think Sally would show up at the party wearing the same dress that I had on. I didn't think that somebody would dent my brand-new car one hour after I got it." Are you really willing to break your vow of happiness because these events took place?

Billions of things could happen that you haven't even thought of yet. The question is not whether they will happen. Things are going to happen. The real question is whether you want to be happy regardless of what happens. The purpose of your life is to enjoy and learn from your experiences. You were not put on Earth to suffer. You're not helping anybody by being miserable. Regardless of your philosophical beliefs, the fact remains that you were born and you are going to die. During the time in between, you get to choose whether or not you want to enjoy the experience. Events don't determine whether or not you're going to be happy. They're just events. You determine whether or not you're going to be happy. You can be happy just to be alive. You can be happy having all these things happen to you, and then be happy to die. If you can live this way, your heart will be so open and your Spirit will be so free, that you will soar up to the heavens.

This path leads you to absolute transcendence because any part of your being that would add a condition to your commitment to happiness has got to go. If you want to be happy, you have to let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama. This is the part that thinks there's a reason not to be happy. You have to transcend the personal, and as you do, you will naturally awaken to the higher aspects of your being.

In the end, enjoying life's experiences is the only rational thing to do. You're sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Go ahead, take a look at reality. You're floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience. You're going to die anyway. Things are going happen anyway. Why shouldn't you be happy? You gain nothing by being bothered by life's events. It doesn't change the world; you just suffer. There's always going to be something that can bother you, if you let it.

This choice to enjoy life will lead you through your spiritual journey. In truth, it is itself a spiritual teacher. Committing yourself to unconditional happiness will teach you every single there is to learn about yourself, about others, and about the nature of life. You will learn all about your mind, your heart, and your will. But you have to mean it when you say that you'll be happy for the rest of your life. Every time a part of you begins to get unhappy let it go. Work with it. Use affirmations, or do whatever you need to do to stay open. If you are committed, nothing can stop you. No matter what happens, you can chose to enjoy the experience. If they starve you and put you in solitary confinement, just have fun being like Gandhi. No matter what happens, just enjoy the life that comes to you.

As difficult as that sounds, what's the benefit of not doing it? If you're totally innocent and they lock you up, you might as well have fun. What good does it do to not have fun? It doesn't change anything. In the end, if you stay happy, you win. Make that your game, and just stay happy no matter what.

Copyright © 2007 Reprinted with permission by New Harbinger Publications, Inc. From the book Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
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John Of God and the Power of Healing through Faith, Meditation, Love, Spirituality, Energy and Matters of the Heart 

"People around the world have credited John of God, and the spirits that they believe work through him, with miraculous healings. Others have accused him of impropriety. Despite his detractors, those whose lives he has touched say he is a simple man with a gift. John of God charges no fees and takes no credit for what he does. He says it is the power of God working through him."

 

 

Dr. Jeffry Rediger, a skeptic psychiatrist, witnessed first hand the power of belief, "If you can say something to the effect that 'I believe this in my head, but I don't believe it with my heart, I don't get it, it's too much,' and then a little incision manifests on the skin over the area of your heart...that means none of this is what we think it is."

Whether John of God's work is a slight of hand or actually a miracle, Dr. Rediger says it's clear that the power of faith is something that needs to be explored more.

"I believe the power of belief, the power of the mind, are far more powerful than we have begun to explore," he says. "I believe that's an unexplored wilderness in terms of research."

This touches on what Michael Singer talks about in his book, The Untethered Soul.  We are all energy and the heart is the largest energy center in our body.  The good Dr. Rediger wraps up his experience with a beautiful statement regarding the heart, "Perhaps the real heart in us in not just a pump.  Perhaps the real heart in us is about love and faith. Perhaps the physical body is not who we really are. Perhaps we are these invisible souls walking around, and the body is just an instrument or metaphor for something we are trying to learn."

Love and Hugs,

Donna Marguglio

www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com

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Something to lift our spirits today...Laughter!  Laughter soothes and rejuvenates the soul.

 

 

Have a good nurturing laugh.

Donna Marguglio

www.emotionalhealingthroughyoga.com

www.charlestoncorporateyoga.com

Removing Your Inner Thorn

 

This article is a continuation of my thoughts on Micheal Singer's, "The Untethered Soul".  You can find the first article regarding opening the heart right here: http://wp.me/pJNw6-6n.  As I continue to read this powerfully moving book, its POW effect does not diminish, but rather goes into more detail unveiling what I find so many of us are seeking, none of which has anything to do with what is outside of us.  This week I am reflecting on the Chapter 9, Removing Your Inner Thorn.

 "In order to grow, you must give up the struggle to remain the same, and learn to embrace change at all times."

  

Real transformation takes place when we embrace instead of hiding, protecting, or covering up that which feels uncomfortable.  He refers to these feelings as our "Inner Thorns"  We all have them.  Instead of feeling the brief pain we might feel, however intense, of removing the thorn, we sometimes choose not to remove it, and instead, keep it there, trying to avoid allowing anything to brush against it or touch it in any way, making daily life very difficult. 

"The Thorn is a Constant Source of Disturbance"

We have 2 choices:

1.  The first choice is to make a decision to keep the thorn and make sure nothing touches it as the pain is too much to bear.

2.  Make a decision that the thorn itself is too much to bear and take it out.

What you choose will affect the rest of your life.  Of course I say this knowing full well I have my own thorns that need removing and am still trying to make everything in my life safe and comfortable so nothing will rub against it.  Don't get me wrong, I have definitely come a long way and I continue to grow, but there are still these uncomfortable moments I try to avoid.  These cover-ups come in the form of control, including but not limited to my weight, my food intake, keeping the house clean and prefect, the lawn, the people I talk with, who my son gets to play with, , my eyebrows or lack thereof, right down to the depth of intimacy I share with my own husband. You all know what I mean.  We've all been there in some form or another.  Control, Control, Control!  All in an attempt to keep ourselves from disturbing the thorn.  There is no freedom in that.

"It Turns Out That the Life of Protecting Yourself From Your Problem Becomes A Perfect Reflection of the Problem Itself"

I haven't actually solved anything and neither have you.  Because we have tried so hard to control everything in hopes of protecting ourselves, the table, it seems, has turned, and the thorn is controlling us, running our lives.  Minimizing the problem is not solving the problem.  And so, if we want to be free, we must remove the thorn.   And we can.  It is possible.  We can free ourselves.  Our inner thorns are simply blocked energies from the past.  They can be released.

"You Can Look Deep Within Yourself, to the Core of Your Being, and Decide That You Don't Want to be the Weakest Part of You Running Your Life.  If You Sit Within the Self, You Will Experience the Strength of Your Inner Being Even When Your Heart Feels Weak.  Once You Learn That It's Okay to Feel Inner Disturbances, and That They No Longer Disturb Your Seat of Consciousness, You Will Be Free."

Love A Little!  Stay tuned for more on "The Untethered Soul"

 

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Matters of the Heart

 

Everyone has read a book or two that has that "POW" effect, the one that grabs your heart and touches you so deeply you can never fully go back to the way you were.  You have this new sense of awareness, a tool you can work with to change your entire life.  Books that have a profound impact must be shared.  So here it is:  "The Untethered Soul, the journey beyond yourself", by Michael Singer.  This book was highly recommended to me by my yoga teacher.  Had I known what effect it was going to have, I wouldn't have waited so long to pick it up.  This book is fabulous for anyone who is looking to move forward, live lighter, and let it go.

So many of us have lived through pain.  We have grown from it and we have stopped growing because of it.  We have defense mechanisms that show up when something feels uncomfortable, something that reminds us of a place we don't want to revisit.  So we get busy, drink, shop, get angry, or completely shut down.  We don't want to feel it, so we don't let it go.  It gets captured, blocked and locked.  Your energy goes way down and you can't figure out why you're not feeling the good stuff.  By the good stuff, I mean the energy you feel that doesn't require sleep or food, the energy that builds up inside you and makes you feel like you can take on the world.  We've all had that as well.  So why don't we feel it all the time? 

 

Micheal Singer explains the largest energy center in your body, The Heart:

 

" The only reason you don't feel this energy all the time is because you block it.  You block it by closing your heart, by closing your mind and by pulling yourself into a restricted space inside.  This closes you off from all the energy.  When you close your heart or you close your mind, you hide in the darkness within you.  There is no light.  There is no energy.  There is nothing flowing.  There energy is still there but it can't get in.  This is what it means to be BLOCKED.  That is why you have no energy when you are depressed.  There are centers within that channel your energy flow.  When you close them, there is no energy.  When you open them, there is energy.  We all have our defense mechanisms.  It seems only natural when you have an upsetting or traumatic experience. that you shut down at the mere thought of experiencing such feelings ever again.  The problem is that shutting down, closing our hearts, is not doing us any good.  Contrary to our beliefs, it does not really protect us from anything.  He goes on to say, "It just cuts you off from your source of energy.  In the end, it only serves to lock you inside."

  

Keeping Your Heart Open: Yoga and Meditation

 

The good news is that we can learn to retrain the heart, if you will.  We can learn to keep our hearts open, that is if we choose to.  We all want to feel love, joy and enthusiasm.  We all want to be free.  What would it feel like if we could, regardless of any experiences that come up, stand in a place of total freedom, total inner freedom?  What would it feel like to allow our life experiences to pass through us without getting locked and blocked, losing our flow of energy?  How would it feel if the energy kept flowing and the rush of love, joy and zest for life filled us up and we had access to it anytime all the time?  My guess?  Pretty awesome.  Look out for my next few posts regarding this fabulously intelligent, heart warming book.  Maybe we can learn something together.

Two things we can practice to keep the heart center open:  Yoga and Meditation.  There are all kinds of heart opening poses.  Click on the video below and learn one of many...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Words Affect Us

 

After teaching an evening class the other day, one of the students talked with me a bit after class.  She talked with me about healing.  Healing her relationships, healing herself, and as she told me the story of her own evolution, she reminded me exactly how much words can hurt, but more importantly how they can heal. 

Many years ago, in my teens, I had sex with a boy.  It was my first time.  Due to the unfortunate timing of these circumstances, I was labeled "SLUT" of the school.  I remember one particular girl who stalked me every single day, waiting to corner me to shout at the top of her lungs so everyone with in miles would hear, "SLUT!!!!"  I was scared to death of her.  Even though I knew intellectually that it was not true, I began to internalize the words and fear wrapped itself around me choking my voice, my heart.  I could not find my voice at the time and so tried very hard to shrink away so no one would see me.  I did this for many years.

 

What Words Are We Using?

 

When I finally did start speaking up, words of anger came out.  I spoke words of anger for years.  It didn't feel good.  I always felt like I was sticking my foot in my mouth or speaking up at the wrong time, again just wanting to shrink away.  My saving grace were the kind people I met along the way. People who were balanced, loving people.  The kind of people who were gentle with me, who helped guide me to a better place through beautiful words, loving thoughts, and tremendous patience.  I learned how to speak gently to myself.  I learned slowly how to be kinder to myself, how to love myself.  I am still learning and growing so much, slowly finding the voice that helps me create healthy boundaries.

When I started practicing yoga, I became so much more aware of my words.  Learning about the Yamas and Niyamas has taught me to be kinder toward myself, and in doing that I am also kinder toward others.  One particular Yama, Ahimsa, is another name for truth or love.  The general meaning is non-violence in thought, word, deed or action.  When a little gossip sounds like it could be interesting, I ask myself now whether I really want to engage if such talk will result in unloving thoughts about someone.  The answer is no.  So I will take a more diplomatic approach, excuse myself if necessary.  If I am having a bad hair day, and I curse about something, I check in with my body, my heart, and observe how I feel.  When what I am speaking or feeling feels ugly, then I know it is time to sit quietly, breathe, and speak kindly to myself.  When I take the time to check in, no matter what has happened in the past, I know all is well.  You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved.

 

I Welcome Inspiring Stories of How Words Have Touched Your Life in the Comment Section Below

[caption id="attachment_391" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Relaxing at the Heidelberg Castle"][/caption]

Keeping The Faith

Keeping The Faith In Hard Economic Times

   

I am no stranger to hard economic times.  I remember my parents having $ 5.00 to spare after paying the bills each month. I went to school and worked hard for my bachelor's and master's in hopes I would never be out of a job.  I have had corporate jobs that paid well and no job living in constant fear coupled by physical safety issues resulting from PTSD.  Sometimes I felt like I would just go bananas!  

As I look around today, I meet so many people who also went to school to protect themselves from exactly what is going on right now.  With so many people out of work, walking away from mortgages, unable to meet their basic needs, it is no wonder there is so much fear floating around.  

   

Meditation Helps Calm The Fear

   

I wish we could have our life's path lit all the way down the road, but it just doesn't work that way.  I know we're supposed to enjoy the ride, but sometimes it's easier said than done.  No one said the journey was going to be easy.  But there is something we can do, that doesn't cost a dime, just 5-30 minutes a day that will make the goodness in our lives so much more palpable.  And that, my friends, is meditation.  

If you're not used to meditating, start out slow.  Sometimes it is very difficult to sit for 5 minutes, let alone 30 when your mind is going 100 miles per hour in a million different directions.  When I am working with new students, I have found 2 methods that help newbies quiet their minds.  

    

2 Methods To Help You Start Meditating

 

First find a quiet spot.  It doesn't matter where it is.  You can sit in your cubicle at work, on a chair somewhere, the floor, pillow or no pillow, whatever works for you.  Be comfortable, but be at attention.  This is not sleepy time.  Begin to breath from your belly, like a fat happy baby.  You know how they breathe, right?  When a baby inhales, their bellies get really round and big.  On their exhale, their bellies fall gently.  That's how you breathe.  Now, 2 methods to help you get started:  

1.  Count.   

Now, close your eyes.  Soften your jaw and the muscles in your face.  If your mind wants to go out into a million different directions, count.  Count 4 in and 4 out.  When you get that going, slow down the breath and count 4 in and 8 out and so on.  Feel it out and stick with what works.  It may be you feel more in sync with 6 on the inhale and 10 or 12 on the exhale.  The point is that counting helps focus the mind.  The same thing works with listening to the sound of your own breath and feeling the cool air flowing through your nostrils.  Try both, see what happens.  

2. Chants. Prayer. Music.   

 There is a particular prayer that helps me relax and focus very quickly.  It is a prayer/chant by Craig Pruess and Ananda, "Devi Prayer", 108 beautiful names for the Divine.  You can get in on iTunes.  It is beautiful and transformative.  In fact, I use it quite often whenever I teach restorative classes.  It feels healing and loving and just resonates with the soul.  I  find that most people who hear the prayers, male and female, are moved by its beauty.  Give it a try.  You won't be disappointed.  

[caption id="attachment_380" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Try it! It works."][/caption]

   

   

 

Choosing A Practitioner

Who's Going To Help Me Heal?

 

Over the years I have seen a variety of therapists and holistic practitioners, all in an attempt to help me heal from PTSD.  Different stages of my healing process required and still does require different practitioners.  Some people may be lucky enough to have one practitioner through their entire healing process.  Some may prefer just one.  I find it useful to work with different people based on their professional as well as their life experience.  However, it is not always easy to discern the level of empathy, compassion or integrity of some practitioners until there has been a face to face meeting and sometimes  it takes more than one.

 

How Do You Feel When You Are With Your Practitioner?

 

Recently, I visited with a practitioner who seemed to have quite a bit of business flowing his way.  He worked in a beautiful location surrounded by absolute serenity.  I was a little apprehensive because every time I stood in the same room with this man, I felt a little tightness in my chest.  I did not know why.  He seemed nice and very knowledgeable, so I chose to ignore my feelings.  I made an appointment with him anyway and was looking very forward to relaxing and allowing him to work his magic hands on me.  

I filled out a standard form regarding medications and general information this type of practitioner would be looking for, going against my instinct which told me not to expose myself, not this time.   One thing I noticed right off the bat were some pretty hefty promises about how I would feel later that evening.  But there I was, and the session began.  Beautiful music.  Beautiful surroundings.  Not a word.  Ahhh...relax, I told myself.  You're all in a tizzy about nothing, right?   I wish.

 

When A Practitioner Goes Outside Their Field Of Expertise

 

After the session, he wanted to speak with me about what he noticed.  When he started speaking, I finally got what my instinct was trying to tell me.  Judgement.  That's what I was feeling.  I felt like I was being judged.  And the more he talked, the tighter my chest grew.  He was talking to me as if he knew my life's story, delving into very personal space, space I was not ready to share with him, space and history which he knew absolutely nothing about.  It went on and on.  More judgement about my life and how I should feel and what I should do, how I should speak when referring to my own life experiences.  By the time I left, I felt so unempowered and so small.  And there he was, thinking he did me this huge favor.  He cured me! His ego was so big, he didn't even realize how what he said and how he said it might have affected me. 

And this is the problem I have noticed from time to time with practitioners.  They step outside of their expertise into areas they know nothing about.  As a result, the client walks away wondering what just happened.  Sometimes people who work in the healing arena have not cleaned up their own stuff.  They've helped a few people.  They might have a little following and bam!  They've got a deity complex.  Never having completed the inner work in their own lives, they set out to heal others, but the ego has grown too big and gets in the way of the true talent that awaits them.

 

What To Look For In A Practitioner

 

1.  Got instincts?  Listen to'em.  If you are feeling like you may not be a match, keep looking.  There is someone out there just for you.

2.  Check with other practitioners in the area.  Most practitioners will not bad mouth other practitioners, but you can get a sense of what type of person you are about to see.  If the practitioner you are about to see is well  respected in his/her field, most of his/her colleagues will gladly recommend this person.  It is useful to check with several other people in a similar field.

3.  Check with past clients, if you happen to know any.  Poke around.  Ask questions.  You will get a good idea whether the practitioner might be a good fit for you. 

4.  When you finally do see someone, check in with how you feel.  Do you feel empowered?  If not, keep looking.  They may have a great deal of talent, but may not be  right for you. 

5.  You'll know when you've hit the jackpot.  That little voice tells you, "This practitioner is working from his/her highest good."  You'll know it because you'll feel it.  Never minimize your feelings.  Your heart always tells you the truth.

 

If you have any useful tips on finding a good practitioner, please feel free to share below.

 

 

Yoga Travels

Take Your Yoga Mat With You

 

I recently travelled to Germany and Italy.  My suitcase weighed next to nothing so I was able to pack everything under the sun...and my yoga mat, which fit quite nicely folded on top of my clothes.  If you don't want to pack the mat in your suitcase, there are plenty of yoga mat bags and carrying straps that would allow you keep your mat with you at all times.  I, however, did not want to carry mine with me.  Some would argue that you could buy a mat when you arrive at your destination, but with the dollar not being so strong right now, it wasn't really an option for me.  So I packed a very inexpensive lightweight mat and off I went.

 

Childs Pose Helps Soothe The Back As Well As The Emotions

 

And boy was I glad I did.  Travelling overnight on the plane and packed in like a sardine, I found myself feeling exhausted and emotional as I do not sleep well on planes, particularly if I am sitting up in a chair.  A few hours after we arrived, I was really feeling tight in the hips.  We went straight to visiting family so there was no time to rest.  I opened my bag, broke out the yoga mat and immediately began to stretch right there in front of everyone. I began in childs pose to relieve  my back from sitting for nine hours, breathing nice deep breathes to release the tension from the plane and lack of sleep.  A little Surya Namaskar, warmup, some upward side stretches to open the hips, utthita parsvakonasana, some back bends, and then right to headstand. 

 

Headstand To Calm Down

 

Ahh...the glorious headstand.  Calms me down.  Helps me center.  Right there while everyone was chit chatting, the headstand was having an immediate effect on my parasympathetic nervous system.  The family went outside to talk and things became very quiet.  I could hear myself breathe.  Everything began to slow down and become even.  Wanting to open my heart to receive my relatives with love, I lay over a couple of pillows in modified fish pose.  Now that feels great after a long plane ride.  After 30 minutes of stretching, I lay in savasna, corpse pose, for 10 minutes listening to divine mother chants, allowing me the temporary rest I needed to really enjoy the day. That evening I went back to my hotel room and practiced one hour of gentle yoga using my yoga strap and some hotel pillows.  I practiced everyday I was away and you know what I found?  I enjoyed the time with my family so much more.  I just felt better.

 

Your Body Will Thank You For Practicing Yoga Everyday While You're Away

(Picture taken above Via Krupp  Capri, Italy)

 

[caption id="attachment_358" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="My Not So Graceful Natarajasana"][/caption]

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Things My Mother Knows

[caption id="attachment_349" align="aligncenter" width="208" caption="Mom and Me Ready For a Swim"][/caption]

   

I remember my mother holding my hand when I was little.  She held me on her lap and was never short of kisses.  She took me to the beach, played games with me, cheered for me, stuck up for me, watched Mighty Mouse with me and waited for me to come home from school everyday just so she could give me a treat and lot's of love.  

Her mother was also very loving, as was her grandmother despite the hardships they all endured.  It has been passed down from generation to generation, this great display of motherly love.  My mother lives next door to me now, always ready to give a helping hand and encouragement, take a walk with me, or just sit on the porch with a cup of coffee prepared to unload whatever thoughts she is pondering.  

    

Forgiveness Is Key

 

But what I remember most growing up is what she said to me when I was feeling low; "Forgive them Donna.  Pray for them."  For many years, I did not understand how to forgive.  I would close my eyes, bow my head, and ask God to help me forgive "them".  A good start, but I did not feel it.  I couldn't figure out why I wasn't feeling what I thought I should be feeling, relief.  

Then one day, I was looking in the mirror criticizing myself for not being as pretty as the other girls.  Surely that must have been why they didn't show up to my party.  I was not developed. I still liked sleepovers and M&M's and pillow fights.  According to everyone else, I was anything but cool.  I couldn't stand the sight of myself.  Then,  my mother walked into my room, looked at me very gently and said, " You are so beautiful to me.  I wish you could see what I see."    

    

My Mother Wanted Me To Love Myself As Much As She Loved Me

 

And in that moment, not fully aware, but getting the gist, I realized there was a component to that "forgive them" thing.  I also had to forgive myself, a lesson I keep reminding myself to live every day.  If something pops up that feels hurtful like an unpleasant memory or when I find that I am judging other people or myself, I stop what I am doing, close my eyes and forgive myself.  And, as my mother always told me, pray for the other person.  I literally ask God to make the other person's day better.  And you know what I find?  Relief and peace.  

 

[caption id="attachment_348" align="aligncenter" width="268" caption="My Beautiful Mother and Me"][/caption]

Pulling Emotional Weeds

Weeds: If You Don't Get The Root, They Just Keep Coming Up!

 

I worked in my yard most of this week pulling weeds.  Twice a year, I sprinkle weed tamer, ( I call it tamer because I don't like the word killer), and fertilizer on my grass as directed by the package it all comes in, and low and behold, up come the weeds.  This year was particularly weed fruitful, much like my life and the lives of so many.

Sometimes it feels very frustrating because every time I pull a weed, another one seems to show its tall neck as if to say, "Over here honey.  You missed it. Gotta dig a little deeper this time."  Some weeds are easy to pull.  They come up and are almost relieved to let go, easy to handle.  Others absolutely refuse to come out of the ground, showing so much resistance, that you need to dig them out with a sharp metal object.  They do not seem to be so relieved.  They are stubborn and fight to the bitter end. These are the weeds that stay low to the ground, not so detectable.  They really do want to just stay there and spread, hoping not to get noticed while relentlessly  taking over the healthy grass.  But once they are out of the ground, there is space for new healthy grass to grow.

 

When The Weeds of Life Overwhelm You, Be Easy With Yourself

 

Hmmm...where do you think I'm going with all of this?  You guessed it.  Life has lumps and bumps...and weeds.  Some are easy to pull, some take a little more digging.  I think we all know, if you don't dig up the root, they just keep coming back and they show up over and over, growing taller or wider by the day.

We all want the grass to be green and perfect, disease free, and full of luster.  But it doesn't always work out that way, no matter what we do or how much we try to control what is going on around us.  Be easy with yourself.  Pull a few and then rest in the grass.  Then dig up a few and rest in the grass.  And before you know it, your lawn and the way you feel when you lay down upon the earth will feel really wonderful.  You are loved and supported and the grass really is very green.

Please feel free to share your metaphors in the comment box below.

 

Inversions Take The Edge Off

Take The Edge Off:  Do A Headstand

   

The other day, I spent the day cleaning my house.  It seemed every time I mopped up the floor, five minutes later there were little trails of dirt forming a line straight to my 7-year-old son's room.  At first I thought maybe I missed a spot or two.  But then it kept on happening over and over.  What's the definition of insanity?  Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.  Naturally, I was frustrated.  He didn't mean to keep dragging the dirt in, but he's 7, hello!  

I know this seems minor in the grand scheme of things, but what I did next can help with all types of frustration.  I went into my sun room, promptly layed out a mat and went into a headstand.  The effects of practicing head stand are amazingly beneficial.  

    

The Benefits of Headstand

 

Improves many ailments such as:  

 Nervousness, tension, fatigue, sleeplessness, dullness, fear, poor blood circulation, bad memory, asthma, headaches, constipation, congested throat, liver or spleen, the initial stages of eye and nose troubles, and general lack of energy, vitality or self-confidence.   

Headstands stimulate our pituitary, pineal, thyroid and parathyroid glands relieving the body of physical and mental stress.  In short, headstands can get you out of a tizzy and assist your body in operating at an optimnal level!  

In general, hanging upside down helps calms the nerves and helps us get through emotional upsets.  

    

[caption id="attachment_319" align="aligncenter" width="224" caption="Beautiful Day For A Headstand"][/caption]

   

   

Viparita Karani: Relax Your Way Out of A Tizzy

   

Not into headstands?  No worries.   If you have a block, bolster, or pillow handy, you can practice Viparita Karani and get the same effect.  This is a restorative pose that can be held much longer.    

1.  Lie down on your back.  

2.  Bend your knees and place your feet on the floor.  

3.  Wriggle your should blades toward each other so that they feel flat on the floor.  We do this to keep the knobby-knob part of your back (cervical spine) off the floor.  Your arms can be out to the side, palms facing up, on your lower abdomen, or over head, whatever feels good to you.  

4.  Lift up your hips and slide either a block, bolster or pillow under your sacrum close to your tailbone.  Adjust for comfort.  

5.  Lift your legs so the souls of your feet are facing the ceiling.  If it feels too difficult to hold your legs up, then practice this pose so that your legs are resting against a wall.  

6.  Relax.  Soften your eyes, jaw, tongue and throat.  This pose can be held anywhere from 5-30 minutes.  

This is commonly referred to as the "Fountain of Youth" pose and it feels great.  

    

[caption id="attachment_320" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Basking in Viparita Karani"][/caption]

    

 

Healing: Making Peace With Loved Ones Past

Remembering Our Loved Ones

 

A couple of weeks ago, my sister would have been 52.  She died July 2, 1997 of an amniotic embolism.  She was 8 months pregnant with her third child when she went to the bathroom, stood up, and cried "Somethings wrong! Call 911" , dropped to the floor and tried to crawl to the phone, but could not survive the attack.  Her baby daughter never opened her eyes and died several days later.  Naturally, it was a very devastating time for me and for my family.

 

When Rape is What You Share in Common

 

For the most part, my sister and I were very close.  Although we lived very different lives, we shared something in common.  We were both raped when we were teenagers and we both held onto a lot of anger.  We constantly operated from a fear based state. Of course, we did not know that at the time.  Being in fight or flight all the time just felt normal to us.  Beating ourselves up for every little thing just felt normal.  We  judged harshly.  We judged each other.  We judged everything and everyone.  You can only imagine how exhausted we were.  We looked for ways to ease the pain, not fully understanding, the answer to living peacefully wasn't even a stones throw away.  All we really had to do was look in the mirror and let the walls fall.  Such a process, of course, is easier said than done.

 

Sometimes Anger Leads to Insight

 

My sister and had a falling out about twelve months before she died.  It wasn't a blow up and there was no yelling.  I felt I had to be honest with her about something, and while I felt peaceful about our conversation, it ended our closeness.  We were never close again.  Cordial, but not close.  In hindsight, I realize this was about the time we both began our spiritual journey, separate, but together.  We loved each other deeply and there was no doubt we both wanted to heal.  So we just let each other be.

 

Letting Go

 

We both began reading a lot of spiritual literature. We both went inward.  She was never close to my oldest sister, not as long as I can remember, not ever.  We all found ourselves walking on eggshells, careful not to light any fires.  The night she transitioned, an action that appeared to be out of the blue, she took a drive over to my oldest sister's home and tried to make amends for a lifetime of animosity suggesting to my oldest sister that they begin again, new and fresh.  She also hugged my middle sister and my parents and told everyone that she loved and appreciated them.  She went home and died several hours later.

 

Meditation Allows Us A Peaceful Connection

 

I was not there as I lived three thousand miles away, so it was very difficult, but I knew we were ok and that she loved me and she knew with no uncertainty that I loved her.  For many years and to this day, I sometimes feel her presence, her love and support.  As I sit quietly, shut my eyes and breathe, I can clearly see her laughing joyfully.  I know she has let go. I know, in the pit of my soul, she is happy and free. I can feel her gently nudging me sometimes, to go deeper, to travel inward.  Sometimes, I am nervous about letting go, about letting the walls fall, but I know that when I take the time to sit quietly, I am also happy.  I am also free.

 

[caption id="attachment_307" align="aligncenter" width="96" caption="Happy Birthday Patty! We Miss You."][/caption]

 

Food and Mood

Does Food Affect Our Mood?

 

Last weekend, my husband and I rented the documentary, "Food, Inc.".  We sat and watched, not really knowing what to expect.  Well, I can tell you, from beginning to end, we were glued to the movie.  It was really eye-opening.  The movie provoked an honest conversation between my husband and me about what we feed ourselves on a daily basis and how what we eat affects us physically and emotionally.  Below is the trailer for Food, Inc.

 

Food Inc - A Compelling Documentary About How Our Food Has Changed Over the Last 50 Years

 

Post trauma I suffered a major eating disorder, addictions, and a plethora of mood swings, not really understanding how what I was putting into my body affected my physical and mental health.  I knew I felt depressed, exhausted and hopeless for many years.  I worked out on a daily basis trying to sweat out whatever impurities, both physically and emotionally I felt I was carrying.  I did this for years and while, by most people's standards, I stayed thin and looked healthy, I continued to feel as if I would never feel alive and energetic again.  I felt depleted all the time.  As the terrible cycle repeated itself with each diet, I turned to food and alcohol to comfort myself only to end up in turmoil again and again.

  

Years before I began practicing yoga regularly, I read a lot of nutritional books, most of which, in so many words, referenced various types of food as either an enemy or a friend, sometimes both.  I found these books extremely useful.  At the time though, I didn't know anything about stores like Earth Fare, Trader Joes and Whole Foods.  I worked with what was available to me at the time.  I followed the advice of books such as the Atkins Diet, The Zone, The Sugar Buster and a host of other books capitalizing on the weight loss industry. 

Yoga Helps Raise Awareness About What We Put Into Our Bodies

  

It wasn't until I started practicing yoga that I got the, "diets don't work", message.  It became more clear as I read books like:

"The Mood Cure" by Julia Ross

"Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin

"Perfect Health", and "Grow Younger, Live Longer" by Deepak Chopra

Just to name a few. 

 

Keeping a Food and Excercise Journal Is Easy and Effective

 

It was then, through steady practice of yoga and meditation, that my awareness began to rise, that I began to fully understand that what I was eating was not just affecting my weight, but was absolutely affecting my emotions, my moods and how well my body was functioning.  Every day I began journaling what I was eating, what time I was eating, and how much I was eating.  If I noticed a mood change or a change in my energy level, I wrote that down as well.  The type of excercise I did on any given day?  Well, that went into the journal as well. I did that for approximately four months.  WOW!  What a difference.  Here's what I noticed:

1.  The more I ate, the worse I felt.  More than that, as I began writing everything down, I realized how much I was actually eating.  I was eating a lot more than I thought.  I felt slow, depressed and lethargic regardless of the amount of exercise I was doing each day.

2.  The less wine I drank and the more water I drank, the better I felt.  Duh, right?  Depression moved out.

3.  The less diet soda (labeled as "Liquid Satan" in the Skinny Bitch Book), the less bloated I felt and the more energy I experienced.  A more calm energy.

4.  Cutting down on chocolate and wine helped stabilize my blood sugar and my moods.  I still love chocolate and wine, but if I choose to indulge, I choose organic chocolate and organic wine.  Even then, one glass is enough.

5.  Cutting down on white bread and other items that we find in the middle isles of the grocery store has also helped stabilized my blood sugar. 

6.  Eating less cheese cut down on gas and bloating and left me feeling less lethargic.

7.  Eating 4 or 5 times per day helps me stay satisfied.  When my blood sugar is stable, I don't want to binge.  I am more even.  I am happy.  I do not feel hungry.

8.  Exercising helps me feel more alive.  I find that I prefer not to go to a gym anymore.  I practice yoga, walking in beautiful areas surrounded by nature, or I pop in a Netflix movie at home and sweat on my elliptical trainer.  I also swim when it is available to me. 

9.  Meditation, for me, is the key to staying even on the emotional scale.  When I feel even, I do not binge.  I do not eat or drink emotionally.  I am happy.  It all comes down to quieting the mind.  Do I still struggle?  Yes, but not as much.  It gets easier. 

I love all types of excercise, so don't think I am telling you what to do, what to eat, or how to excercise.  I am not a vegan or a vegetarian but I can tell you I eat significantly less meat than I used to and feel much better for it. I am sharing this article because as I started write everything down, it all became real, how food affects my mood.  It's easy to read about it.  But when you actually start recording on paper what is happening in your own body, the effects are so much easier to discern. It's so easy to forget what we ate yesterday or how depressed or hung over we were a week ago.  Logging keeps everything real.  It is simple, effective and takes no time at all.  You might make some emotional connections between food and mood that could dramatically change the quality of your life.

Additionally, keeping myself updated on what is going on in our food industry and continually educating myself on food and nutrition really helps raise my awareness on many different levels.  If you have read any great books on how food affects our mood, please feel free to reply to this blog.  Sharing information helps everyone gain a healthier perspective.  It is all part of the healing process.

 

[caption id="attachment_296" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Bon Appetit!"][/caption]