Slow Down...It's Only Five Minutes

 I know I have mentioned breathing before and I will again and again.  It saved my life.  Many years of hurtful and painful experiences cause us to hold our breath, hold in our feelings, only to come out at inconvenient times through a variety of reactions to what are seemingly harmless situations.  Everything from snapping at one person or another, crying uncontrollably, to desperate feelings of self criticism.  Certainly one way of combating these feelings is to bury them by staying busy from the moment we wake up to sheer exhaustion, the only time of which some of us fall asleep in hopes of avoiding these feelings at all.  The the cycle repeats itself the next day and the next.

I'm not sure there is any way to get around peeling the onion.  Believe me, I've tried.  I used to overbook myself with daily and evening activities that if I failed to accomplish, or even if I did manage to accomplish, treat myself, depending on my perception of the achievement or failure of that particular day, to 2-3 glasses of wine convincing myself that I just needed to relax, that I deserved to relax.  Then when I thought I was fully relaxed, I would try to go to bed, only to find my legs restless with pins and needles and my heart racing.  The nervousness I felt from that cycle brought me to the restroom with an overactive bladder and then I would just cry out of frustration.  So I would reach into my drawer and take some sleeping medication just to knock myself out, without a restful sleep I can tell you, only to do it all over again the next day and the next.  Get my drift?

When I started practicing yoga, I was taught to breath.  Feeling like I was nuts and unable to control my thoughts and calm my mind, I found sitting very difficult.  In fact, it was excruciating.  I couldn't understand how people could just sit there for 30 minutes to an hour without going crazy.  I really wanted to avoid that too.  Ge'ez Louise, my back hurt, my knees hurt and Iwas impatient.  My teacher suggested just trying to sit quietly for 5 minutes each day whether I was at home or in my car outside of a Walmart parking lot.  I asked, " What about my thoughts?  They are racing and I get angry thinking about everything."  She just replied, Shut your eyes, listen to your breath, feel the cool coming out of your nose.  Don't try to get rid of your thoughts.  They can be like little children who need attention.  Just tell them nicely that you will be back in 5 minutes to give them your undivided attention.  Then just let your thoughts come and go like the waves of the ocean.  As they come in, go back to the sound of your breath.  Your five minutes will be over in the blink of an eye and before you know it, you will be sitting for ten and twenty minutes and you will crave the silence."

And you know what? She was right.  So wherever you are during the day, whether you are five minutes early picking up your child at school, at work on a lunch break, or waiting for a meeting to take place, just close your eyes, listen to the sound of your breath...5 minutes.  I promise you, written with love and first hand experience, you will begin to access the peace you are so desperately seeking.