Appreciation - A Path to Healing

Living in Appreciation

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A few days ago, I was preparing to drop off a computer and a printer to my friend Maggie, a computer that a few days ago, my father spent hours cleaning up, not because he was being paid, but because he wanted to do it for her.  My father had never met Maggie, at least not in person, until a few days ago.  I called him recently from her house asking him to help me fix her printer over the phone.  He tried for many hours and the next day to resolve the problem and decided he needed a better look.  A few days later Maggie made her way out here with her computer and printer in tow.  He worked on it until 1:00am until it was all cleaned up.  

The next day I was about to get into my car to deliver Maggie's computer, when my father came over and asked me if I wanted company driving to Maggie's.  She lives about 40 minutes away. I knew he wanted to get out of the house, but more importantly he wanted to make sure she was not going to have any more trouble with her computer.  That's just who he is.  As we drove, he said some things here and there, but we had a lot of silence.  Years ago, the silence would have bothered me and I would have been trying to chat things up just to keep my mind busy.  That doesn't work anymore for three reasons:   

1.  My father is hard of hearing so I either have to really speak up or we have to face each other so he can see what I am saying.  Kind of hard when your driving.  

2. After practicing yoga and meditation, the need to keep my mind busy has fallen away.  I rather enjoy the silence now because it doesn't feel like a threat anymore.  It feels peaceful.    

3.  If I were chatting it up, it would be impossible to sit silently in appreciation and awe, and absolute reverence for my father. 

  

Living Appreciatively after PTSD

A few things about my father:  He is a self-taught man...in every way.  He grew up not knowing the love of his mother.  He grew up hard, with tremendous uncertainty, served in two wars and suffered greatly from PTSD, not just from war, from tragic events in life, events which I do not even feel I can mention here or even comprehend.  I know this not only because the years we have spent together as a family, but because of a generous gift he recently gave to me, (and to our family), a two-volume (600 pages each), book of our family history.  I'm not talking about geneology, that's all part of it, but more of all the family stories, the intimate, happy, and heart wrenching stories behind each family member starting with my father and my mother.  The stories go right up to now, grandchildren and all.  In reading so many of the stories, which I have not finished, I realized more than ever how strong my father really is and found myself wondering how he could come out of such life with any energy at all.  And I realized, it's appreciation.  He appreciates life.  He loves.  He just loves.  He spends his time helping those in need.  It is never a question, should I help or not?  It is only, how can I contribute?  

Through Yoga and Meditation the Good Days Become More Frequent

That's not to say he sees eye to eye with everyone or that politics don't wear his nerves sometimes, but I think there is a sense of appreciation that comes with living through life's challenges.  For some of us, when a good day comes along, it's a really good day.  I have learned from my father, (and from my mother), to be appreciative of what I have, my family, my friends, the beautiful home I live in, living in this great country...the list goes on and on. I have also learned that through slowing my mind's chatter I become much more appreciative of what's going on around me.  I am more empathetic and less judgmental, not just toward other people, but toward myself.  I find that practicing yoga, especially in silence, just listening to the sound of my breath, brings up all kinds of emotions, some that feel great, some I need to let go.  Either way, the good days become more and more frequent regardless of my circumstances.  

  

  

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 I LOVE YOU DAD!