Yoga - Let the Real Me Emerge
I will be 45 this week. I think back to 35 and 25 and thank God I am 45. I think I like getting older. I'm not even sure I remember 25 and that's perfectly fine with me. At 35 life was getting much better. I finished my Master's, lived in a apartment on the top floor looking right at Neiman Marcus. I think my biggest concern each day was deciding who was going to take me to lunch or dinner that day. What a life! But while that part of life was really nice, I was still very lonely and attached to what other people thought about me, still not quite knowing who I was, looking for that something, drink, dress, trip to fill me up. But it never really lasted. I was not the person I wanted to be.
A New Kind of Energy
At that time I was beginning to take yoga classes. The classes were held in a gym, so there wasn't much talk, if any, about the philosophy of yoga, but rather just enough quiet and stillness to provoke thought and move me to start reading very spiritually based books like gary Zukav's, Seat of the Soul, The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, Where Are You Going by Swami Muktananda, and some of my very favorite Marianne Williamson's books I still refer to today. And so, I started to grow, increasing my awareness, my own accountability, my role in life and how I was contributing or not contributing. As time passed and I engaged in in more yogic activity, I began to surround myself with people who elevated me. And I observed how these people lived, how graceful and appreciative, how non-judgemental and loving. It's as if they knew I needed to be loved and they loved me, my beautiful husband being one of those people, whom I am certain crossed my path as a new kind of energy began to emerge.
Feeling Beautiful Comes With Age
So, the past is the past and I have lived through tremedous pain, pain that at one time, I never thought would ever lift. But time heals. Forgiveness heals, forgiving myself as well as others. My past no longer holds me hostage. I love myself. I think Marianne says it beautifully in her book "The Age of Miracles", when she explains how past lessons affect us:
"You were being given the chance to become the person you're capable of being. Some lessons you passed, some you have to take again. Some you enjoyed, and some you resisted and might have hated. But they've left you--if you choose--a better person, a more vulnerable person, a wiser person, a more noble person. And from that all things are possible."
And My Favorite Part...Fabulous At Any Age
"A youthful body is wonderful, but it's not all it's cracked up to be when you're not who you should be. And once you are, the cracks in your body can have a beauty of their own. You don't have to be young to be fabulous."
I have a friend who is close to 80 years young, who said to me one day, when I told her I was getting Botox, "I don't believe in any of that stuff. I've earned every single wrinkle and scar on this body, head to toe." And she is, with all of her earned wrinkles, the most spectacular woman. Now, just to clarify, I'm not so humble that I am ready to toss the Botox, but I can tell you, the more I get to know myself, the more I love myself. Meditaton reveals to me who I really am and Yoga helps me embrace myself, imperfections and all. The real me is stepping forward. Turns out diamonds are not this girls best friend, I am.
[caption id="attachment_198" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Happy Birthday to Me!"]
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