This is a story, not about tragedy, but about healing. More than 25 years ago, I was raped by two young men, one of which was a football star at the high school I attended. It was a devastating time for me and for my family. Up until my teens I was a pretty happy kid. I had parents and sisters who loved me and I had very happy memories of my childhood. The rape along with some other unfortunate experiences seemed to put the nails in my coffin.
For many years I felt very ashamed and struggled with self-confidence, self-love and security evident in the promiscuity that followed. For years I brushed it off, never understanding why I engaged in such self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much, pleasing people to the point of losing myself and compromising my own integrity. I took three showers a day plus a bath or two trying to wash away the dirt. I never felt quite clean enough.
Any tragedy such as physical abuse of any kind, emotional abuse, the loss of a loved one, sickness or other experiences that leave us with a feeling of devastation, hopelessness, anger, resentment, depression, worthlessness or any other feeling that just doesn’t feel good need no longer keep us from experiencing the world as a beautiful place. The healing begins when we begin to love ourselves. When we begin to experience ourselves as loveable, the label of victim no longer serves us. The more we love ourselves, the more empowered we become.
It was about ten years ago when I took my very first yoga class. Being an athlete most of my life, I powered through all the poses. It was held in a gym, so there wasn’t much talk about Patangali’s eight limbed path or the emotional side of yoga. I was just proud I could do a handstand with no problem. Over ten years, I read as much spiritually based material I could get my hands on, including books by Marianne Williamson, Gary Zukav, Louise Hayes and many many more. Two years ago, I took a life transition course with Nella Barkley (The Crystal-Barkley Corp), and after much time and two binders full of work , my true desires started to surface. I knew I really wanted to serve in a way that would help people everywhere heal from emotional hurt. I wanted to open my heart and love people and I knew I wanted those people to feel loved.
I decided to become a yoga teacher, a decision in which I live in appreciation every day. It was during that time in yoga teacher training that I really began to see myself differently, to see myself and experience myself as a loving, loveable human being. The stillness of yoga, the movement of yoga, the surrender of the pose, the quiet time, allows me to appreciate myself for who I am. Do I still try to power through yoga poses? Yes. Do I need to remind myself that resistance is no longer needed? Yes. This blog is all about the healing power that lies within us. Touching base with the soul every day does the heart, body and spirit good. Please join me as we journey together to release the patterns of our lives that no longer serve us and to gain a sense of self, clarity and peace.
Namaste,
Donna Suguna Marguglio
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